Old dog, old tricks.

Yesterday during scrimmage I clotheslined a vet in the throat, an egregious penalty.  And I'm not sure what's worse-that she was on my own team or that she didn't even budge.

The story I am about to tell is 100% true......

When I was 12 years old I auditioned for the school play.    In spite of my demand that I not be given a singing role I was cast as the esteemed Dr. Frankenstien, the lead role in the very complex stage performance of Monster Madness.   My concerns about my singing role were not unnoticed and the very reasonable "compromise" that I rap my solo was made.  

This is me at the time of this debacle. I was not a popular kid.  Likable, for sure, but open to extreme ridicule at any given time.  Not in any 6th grade social position to be rapping a song.

 Anyhoo....for 3 weeks I learned to rap that fucking song.  It was soul destroying.  It was terrible.   It was literally the worst three weeks of MY ENTIRE LIFE.    Finally, I could not take anymore.  The thought of me, an overweight white kid, on stage, wearing my Dad's suit and rapping was too much and I went with the lessor of the two evils and sang my little heart out.  Did I see my sisters laugh at me from the audience because my white gloves were too big?  Yup.  Did I rip an EPIC fart in front of Trevor Kroph before I went on stage?  You bet.   The point is, I did it and I lived.



And I have NO idea why derby often reminds me of my time as a solo singing stage performer.