Spring Fever!!

My street is just river of winter snow being swept away.  The sun is shining and I am in tremendous spirits, in spite of the disastrous run Gary and I attempted this afternoon.   And this time of year means two things for this girl.

1)  I'm randy as an 18 year old boy

and

2)  I NEED TO REDO MY ENTIRE HOUSE!!

I NEED to finish scraping the glue off these stairs.  Also, the kitchen will have to wait until next year.  I am determined to actually complete things before starting new ones.  This weekend will be a reclusive weekend, wrapping up some loose ends and it will take every ounce of strength to not repaint the bathroom.  But most pressing is this bloody laundry room/bathroom combo.  I HATE how slowly this stuff has to move.  I need to wait for the electrician, and then wait for my reno dude to come and drywall and install tile while all I want to do is find super cute fixtures and the perfect shade of pink to paint it!

But I need to focus on what has been accomplished.

This is what I started with.  A centipede paradise.

And this is what I have so far.  The washer/dryer have been moved and the walls are all framed.  A door has been  installed so that not only is Gary prevented from gorging on his kitty litter buffet but  I never have to actually look at the constant piles of laundry I'm faced with.

Imagine something like this as the final product:

A SECOND TOILET!!  This was super exciting.  Gone are the days of crazy line ups.  It's nothing to look at but gawd...did this ever make me happy.

But this...this excites me the most!   It was all walled off and there is SOOO much potential for super cute storage ideas!  There is actually a good amount of space here, so much so that I might just have the  electrician put a light fixture and wall off the area.  Also, as a person who doesn't even own an iron you better believe that I'm going to install a super cute ironing board!

Thank gads I love aimlessly roaming Home Depot/Rona/Ikea, looking for ideas.

Yup. A trend no doubt

So everything is awesome.  Like for realz awesome.  Happy, calm.  Perfect.

So not sure on why I insist on stirring shit up all.the.time.

Sure, my laundry room/bathroom combo isn't done yet and my permit expires in like, 3 months.  Okay, okay, I STILL haven't grouted the bathroom floor and there is still a transition piece to be placed.

And FINE,  I KNOW I need to get that fourth bedroom in the basement ready......

But fuck me...I NEED THIS KITCHEN RIGHT NOW!!!

LOOK AT IT!  Is this not the most happy kitchen in the world?  

Make it all make sense!!

I'm kind of haunted by my last conversation with my friend before she died.  By "kind of haunted" I mean totally and completely preoccupied by it.

When you spend a decade working with people you do form unique bonds and friendships.   Cathy was not only my work mentor but pretty much my confessional.  She talked me through babies and marriages and divorces and breakups and blah blah blah blah blah.

And now she's gone and I have been blown into this existential crisis that to be fair I have ALWAYS been in the midst of but she always tempered.

"What more can you possibly want?  You literally have everything."

That was the last email she sent me.


I don't know why I am having such a hard time determining what I am to do with my life.  I think it's just because everything has always come so easily to me.  Jobs, children, men, pets, sparkling personality, outrageous beauty.  All of these things just fell into my lap with exactly zero effort.  I just roll with it.  And she's right.  I DO have everything.  Everything.  There is literally nothing I can think of that I am without.  Yet here I am, puttering about with what feels like a pinprick of doubt behind my ear.  Rather than just live and enjoy I'm focusing so much energy on this little pinprick.


So, two weeks ago I had a job interview.   My interviewer very kindly offered her condolences and I returned the courtesy by crying.  But for some strange reason I have been offered the job.

But I don't think I'll accept the offer.

I don't understand myself.  I go for these interviews (well, only three to be exact) and turn them down.  I join Pof only to later reclaim my status as single for life.   I repeatedly go to derby practice, only to be injured.  WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!

I need a sign.

Or maybe I just need to accept that sometimes life is all about climbing that tree, in search for that branch that may or may not support your weight.  And just go for it.

I think

Vices

Less than a month away before regular FM practice begins.  And thank Christ.  

I feel as though as a newly fabulous non smoker I will be in better shape to manage the demands.

So, I get really excited when I start achieving little goals which is why it seemed such a reasonable time to get rid of coffee, ciggies, cell phone and sugar.

Guess what I'm still off?

Ciggies.

Sorry, giving up coffee is just madness, sugar is just too good and my phone is my derby lifeline!

So suck it.

16 days, 10 hours, 23 min

That's how long it has been since I have had a ciggy.

Now, I had actually quit about a week or month or several before BUT the above is the amount of time a ciggy has even so much as touched my lips.  Ah shit...I lied.....when I heard Cathy passed I ran to the store and bought a pack and smoked a quarter of it and smashed the rest of the pack.  Under the extreme circumstances I'm letting that slide.

YAY ME!!!!

This time was a bit easier.  I was one of the last morons out there who smoked so I literally did not have a single outside influence.  No one to bum "just this one"  Nada.  There were times I really really REALLY wished my teenager was a smoker.  That's how much it sucked.  BUT...I made it!  The truest test of a reformed smoker, of course, was Niagara.  Lots of drinks and shenanigans.  Again, not even the desire.

To celebrate my latest victory as well as my favourite arbitrary holiday, Valentine's Day, I am going to plan the most fun V Day night EVER.

I don't know why people hate this day so much.  How can anyone hate a grossly over-commercialized holiday...when it's all about love and fat cherubs and chocolate.   I am the love who loves to love the love,  I LOOK like a fat cherub with wrinkles and years of stress and bitterness behind her AND most days chocolate brings me more happiness than my kids.  This holiday IS ME.

OMG I AM Valentine's Day.

Always need to remember

So things have been a little sad lately.  That's ok.  That's life.   We'll go forward and enjoy this evening. 

 Cause that's what we do.