Sunday, February 17, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
One week down
I have become pretty consumed with Gary. He has quickly become the only topic of conversation and I am fairly certain that my Facebook friends are quite tired of my endless updates and pictures. That being said...I don't care. If new Moms can endlessly inform us of their kids potty training I can post pictures of my dog in the snow.
So, today marks a full week with this beast.
The first two days were quite deceiving. The girls and I were practically high fiving each other as we thought we hit the jackpot as we thought we had adopted the most chilled dog ever. We had him housebroken in 15 minutes, taught him to sit, stay and be handsome. Easy peasy.
We were very wrong.
The dog shit hit the fan on day three.
I should mention that I was wrong. He isn't 50 pounds. He's 70 pounds. I assure you that 20 pounds makes a huge difference, especially when his favourite game is running up to my 8 year old, jumping up, grabbing her pony tail and taking her down. The more she screams the more fun he has. The fourth morning was greeted by a barf bomb in my room. The contents? A ballet slipper, an INTACT pack of post it notes, Pom Poms, erasers, a pencil and much more.
What became abundantly clear was that I was dealing with a huge puppy who has never been taught a goddamned thing.
This has been a week of frantic phone calls to friends and family as I soon realized, as all new parents do, that it doesn't matter how much reading you do, you still don't have a fucking clue.
So, in an effort to focus on the good, this is what he has learned so far:
Sit
Stay
Lie down
Fetch
Don't pee in the house
Be gorgeous
When I have people over be a gentleman and a social butterfly (but don't be an asshole)
What he hasn't learned:
Don't torment the kids
Don't torment the cat(poor Cecil)
Don't torment the guinea pig
I am the boss, not you
Don't jump
And many many more.
The good news is that the trainer am hiring can tell me exactly what to do. The bad news is that I think this should take exactly 5 minutes to perfectly train him. My delusions are breath taking.
While the rose colored glasses have been knocked off my face and chewed to bits by this guy my heart has been totally and completely stolen. I am reminded of this every single night when we go to bed, quietly cuddle and enjoy quality, dog related PBS programming.
And sooner or later Cecil will forgive me.
So, today marks a full week with this beast.
The first two days were quite deceiving. The girls and I were practically high fiving each other as we thought we hit the jackpot as we thought we had adopted the most chilled dog ever. We had him housebroken in 15 minutes, taught him to sit, stay and be handsome. Easy peasy.
We were very wrong.
The dog shit hit the fan on day three.
I should mention that I was wrong. He isn't 50 pounds. He's 70 pounds. I assure you that 20 pounds makes a huge difference, especially when his favourite game is running up to my 8 year old, jumping up, grabbing her pony tail and taking her down. The more she screams the more fun he has. The fourth morning was greeted by a barf bomb in my room. The contents? A ballet slipper, an INTACT pack of post it notes, Pom Poms, erasers, a pencil and much more.
What became abundantly clear was that I was dealing with a huge puppy who has never been taught a goddamned thing.
This has been a week of frantic phone calls to friends and family as I soon realized, as all new parents do, that it doesn't matter how much reading you do, you still don't have a fucking clue.
So, in an effort to focus on the good, this is what he has learned so far:
Sit
Stay
Lie down
Fetch
Don't pee in the house
Be gorgeous
When I have people over be a gentleman and a social butterfly (but don't be an asshole)
What he hasn't learned:
Don't torment the kids
Don't torment the cat(poor Cecil)
Don't torment the guinea pig
I am the boss, not you
Don't jump
And many many more.
The good news is that the trainer am hiring can tell me exactly what to do. The bad news is that I think this should take exactly 5 minutes to perfectly train him. My delusions are breath taking.
While the rose colored glasses have been knocked off my face and chewed to bits by this guy my heart has been totally and completely stolen. I am reminded of this every single night when we go to bed, quietly cuddle and enjoy quality, dog related PBS programming.
And sooner or later Cecil will forgive me.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Sounds about right
What Gary loves:
Snow
Kids
Shredding paper
Eating table legs
Anything but the $100 bucks worth of toys I just dropped with the exception of one VERY loud ball.
Entire bricks of cheese.
This training gig is going to be a LOT harder than anticipated.
Snow
Kids
Shredding paper
Eating table legs
Anything but the $100 bucks worth of toys I just dropped with the exception of one VERY loud ball.
Entire bricks of cheese.
This training gig is going to be a LOT harder than anticipated.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
And then there was Gary.
Love at first sight.
Introducing Gary, a 7 month old, 50 pound ball of amazing.
Introducing Gary, a 7 month old, 50 pound ball of amazing.
Dogs!
The amazing task of picking that perfect dog is finally here.
I have lined up my dog sitters, I'm collection dog gear and spending way too much time at the Humane Society.
It's a hard gig. You see endless pooches, desperate for a forever home and as someone who always leads with her heart it is a huge exercise of will to pick the right one.
One guy in particular just gripped my heart. Moses is a cross fox hound/Doberman. He's just about the most beautiful creature I have ever met and reminds me so much of Abbie that it breaks my heart. The real difference between he and Abbie is that Moses makes Abbie look like the poster dog of obedience. He has spent all of his life cooped up. The first year in a tiny apartment and now his wee pen at the humane society.
So the question remains.....do I take a chance on this guy? I could be borrowing a boat load of trouble with this dog. On the other hand, with extensive dog training he will end up to be the most amazing addition to our family ever.
*sigh*
I have lined up my dog sitters, I'm collection dog gear and spending way too much time at the Humane Society.
It's a hard gig. You see endless pooches, desperate for a forever home and as someone who always leads with her heart it is a huge exercise of will to pick the right one.
One guy in particular just gripped my heart. Moses is a cross fox hound/Doberman. He's just about the most beautiful creature I have ever met and reminds me so much of Abbie that it breaks my heart. The real difference between he and Abbie is that Moses makes Abbie look like the poster dog of obedience. He has spent all of his life cooped up. The first year in a tiny apartment and now his wee pen at the humane society.
So the question remains.....do I take a chance on this guy? I could be borrowing a boat load of trouble with this dog. On the other hand, with extensive dog training he will end up to be the most amazing addition to our family ever.
*sigh*
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Turkey Apocalypse!
I think the best thing to have happened to me this year is the influx of turkey vultures my street has seen. To be very clear, this story actually made it to our local newspaper rag. We aren't talking one turkey.
The difference between myself and my well meaning neighbor who is furious that this situation can not be solved (WONT ANYBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?). Is that I love these little bastards.
They don't take shit from anyone. They are a family and as someone who has tried to catch one for fun I can tell you that they take this very seriously. They will try to fuck you up.
So, in the spirit of neighborly love I will help my bird fearing neighbor by luring these bad boys to MY house. Not sure how and not sure when but rest assured I WILL befriend this gaggle. I will be the Timothy Treadwell of the turkey vultures.
This excites me.
The difference between myself and my well meaning neighbor who is furious that this situation can not be solved (WONT ANYBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?). Is that I love these little bastards.
They don't take shit from anyone. They are a family and as someone who has tried to catch one for fun I can tell you that they take this very seriously. They will try to fuck you up.
So, in the spirit of neighborly love I will help my bird fearing neighbor by luring these bad boys to MY house. Not sure how and not sure when but rest assured I WILL befriend this gaggle. I will be the Timothy Treadwell of the turkey vultures.
This excites me.
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