Sounds about right

What Gary loves:

Snow
Kids
Shredding paper
Eating table legs
Anything but the $100 bucks worth of toys I just dropped with the exception of one VERY loud ball.
Entire bricks of cheese.

This training gig is going to be a LOT harder than anticipated.

And then there was Gary.

Love at first sight.

Introducing Gary, a 7 month old, 50 pound ball of amazing.

Dogs!

The amazing task of picking that perfect dog is finally here.

I have lined up my dog sitters, I'm collection dog gear and spending way too much time at the Humane Society.

It's a hard gig. You see endless pooches, desperate for a forever home and as someone who always leads with her heart it is a huge exercise of will to pick the right one.

One guy in particular just gripped my heart. Moses is a cross fox hound/Doberman. He's just about the most beautiful creature I have ever met and reminds me so much of Abbie that it breaks my heart. The real difference between he and Abbie is that Moses makes Abbie look like the poster dog of obedience. He has spent all of his life cooped up. The first year in a tiny apartment and now his wee pen at the humane society.

So the question remains.....do I take a chance on this guy? I could be borrowing a boat load of trouble with this dog. On the other hand, with extensive dog training he will end up to be the most amazing addition to our family ever.

*sigh*

Turkey Apocalypse!

I think the best thing to have happened to me this year is the influx of turkey vultures my street has seen. To be very clear, this story actually made it to our local newspaper rag. We aren't talking one turkey.

The difference between myself and my well meaning neighbor who is furious that this situation can not be solved (WONT ANYBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?). Is that I love these little bastards.

They don't take shit from anyone. They are a family and as someone who has tried to catch one for fun I can tell you that they take this very seriously. They will try to fuck you up.

So, in the spirit of neighborly love I will help my bird fearing neighbor by luring these bad boys to MY house. Not sure how and not sure when but rest assured I WILL befriend this gaggle. I will be the Timothy Treadwell of the turkey vultures.

This excites me.

A cheap pair of shoes

Have you ever purchased a pair of cheap shoes?

You see a pair of shoes. They are pretty cute and match your shirt and maybe they even have a little bow or something ornamental that generally speaking you would never even consider. Yet, for some reason, you get them. The folks you have shown the shoes to tell you that it's a bad idea and that it is really wise to leave those shoes on the shelf and find something far more suited to your needs. But of course you don't listen.

And you buy them.

And it doesn't take long before you realize that you should have listened.

The thing with cheap shoes is that they simply can not stand up. They are cheaply made with shoddy material and flimsy soles. There just isn't enough there to qualify a quality product. And let's face it, 5 year old sweatshop kids are lousy cobblers.

Inevitably, the shoes start to break.

You call customer service and they convince you to try this and that. They suggest that you are the only person who has ever experienced these issues. Still, they offer you up some advice on how to make the shoes work for you, afterall, their product is just fine. Lots of people love these shoes! So you think you are nuts and surely this is your fault. But heck, why not give it another shot. And once again they break. And once again you are disappointed. And once again customer service is telling you that you are a valued customer and offer help. And they break again.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

You have spent so much time convincing yourself that you have done something wrong that you miss one very important fact-the company you are dealing with care only for how this serves them.

And then it hits you.......you are simply dealing with cheap shoes and a manufacturing plant and customer service centre that only cares about the paycheck. The quality of the shoes will never, ever increase. They are made for a short shelf life. As consumers before you and consumers after you will soon learn....sometimes you just get ripped off. So, now you have spent a stupid amount of time fighting with customer service over a pair of cheap shoes because you spent more on the glue than the shoes themselves. That one is on you. Any smart woman knows that you toss crappy shoes at the get go. The harsh reality is that you spent very little money on a lousy product. A product with zero stability and only one frayed little bow to add to its character. It'll never be more. So, given the insignificant amount of money spent....why are you so upset again?

And then is REALLY hits you....all this time spent.....and the whole time you could afford leather.


So you laugh, toss the shoes, put on your leather boots and go to a French Canadian hip hop concert.


Bah!


Life, it's a learning curve.

Eeeeeeee!

So I bit the bullet and ordered this bathing suit. It is flipping adorable and by all accounts will contain my girls.

And Cuba booking is in the works. Now I just need to sneak the white linen pants in the luggage and I am ready to go.

Best.day.ever!

What I have learned this week

1). Ghost Protocol should have been called Shit Protocol.

2). Nothing, and I mean NOTHING scares me more than STIs.

3). I love bears.

4). I can be outrageously charming and appalling at the very same time.

5). Dr. Leo Spaceman is one of my favourite people.

6). I really, really want to adopt a greyhound.