Saying goodbye.

I have been extremely fortunate in my life so far, having experienced very little loss. Sure I have had my wee ripples but nothing that amounts to more than a blip on my radar once the dust settled.

I do question whether or not this has been beneficial.

For 15 years the only single constant in my life is my orange SOB, Cecil. Cecil came into my life out of nowhere and while he has caused his fair share of grief (not to mention expensive vet bills) I can honestly say that he has been one of my greatest decisions. He has been there each time a new baby was born, put a hole in my wedding dress an hour before the service and stood firmly at my side while I sobbed at the end of my marriage. He has lived everywhere I have in my adult life and has made himself more a part of the family than just "the cat".

But he's old. And decisions have to be made. Today we had another quick trip to the vet and I had prepared the kids for the possibility that he would not be returning. You see, while I am a huge proponent for euthanasia I simply don't know WHEN the time is right. We know he's becoming senile, we know he's arthritic and we know he's old....but is HE ok with that? Some new medication, some new food has bought him another 2 months. At that point, as the vet gently said, we will have to look at the other unfortunate option.

Until then I will enjoy him. Forgive his need to dump over my drinks and to eat my food when I am not looking, and to always give him a pet as he sleeps on my cabbages that simply do not stand a chance.