The worst

I fully realize that I am jumping the gun on my Christmas excitment.  It isn't really my fault as Christmas funzies/insanity has already begun.  So many fun things coming up and so many Christmas crafts to make.  Zomigodz...TWO potlucks this weekend alone!

Anyway, it's hard not to notice the stark difference between this year and last.  Last year was such a sad doom and gloom and this year I'm all giddy and happy and annoyingly positive.  Like, you go girl positive.  Pretty much the  best worst ever. I'm not complaining.   In fact, I am totally passed being perplexed about the way I behaved, the things I said, the T. Gary I adopted, and on and on and on.  I assure you I'll even find it hilarious but I might need another year.  It's all good and all behind me.......

......

...except there is one little thing.

"The Hair"

I CUT ALL OF MY FUCKING HAIR OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My one beauty.

Gone.

Look folks, take it from me.  If ever you find yourself in the midst of a crippling depression I would encourage you to take a trip that far exceeds your bank account.  I encourage you to adopt a dog.  I encourage you to join a really hurty full contact sport using footwear you have NEVER worn before.  Hell, I encourage you to "date" an outrageously gorgeous if not marginally retarded fellow.  It's all good stuff.

But never EVER cut your hair.

Chopping off 5 pounds of what can arguably be considered one of your best assets should never ever ever be considered when you haven't left your bed in two days.  Ever.

EVER

I'm not a "hair and makeup" girl.  Not because I'm fighting the power against the oppression of the womynzz.  Not because I'm down to earth.  It's because I don't have a goddamned clue HOW.  When I try either look like a clown or a really cheap cougar.  As a result, I am stuck looking like fat Joan Jett.  A fat Joan Jett during one of the busiest social times of the year.

It's not even that it's the worst.  It's Jean-Ralphio the WOOOOOOOOOOOOR-HUUUUUURSTTT.

So, it's on.  The battle of me and The Hair.  The only way I can win this one is patience.  This will be my greatest struggle ever. Patience is the worst.

But make no mistake, The Hair will not beat me.

I will reign victorious.

Because I always win.