Selfie loathing

"Nice selfie, Mom"

A friend of mine took a picture of me and I proceeded to post it to my facebook as a profile picture.  My daughter made the comment, rather amused as she thought I took it myself and posted it.  I kinda hate selfies.  I find them very self serving and showy although I have taken a few myself.

Photographs in general freak me out.  I am sure it's a control thing but I swear to god, every single picture of me taken by someone else always turns out exactly like this:

So naturally I shy away from the camera.

Anyhoo..I had just finished an adorable slouch hat and wanted to take a quick snap to send a friend to show.  Easy peasy.

But things tend to escalate.

There is a significant amount of power involved in selfies.  You control everything.  So, what started as a 5 second project ended up in a two hour marathon of selfie taking.  Started simply enough, me in the hat, the majority of the photograph showing the grand craftmanship of the slouch.   Then came the hair brush...the make up...the lip gloss.  The climax was in the form of liquid liner.

And here is the picture I managed to send

You will notice two things:
 
1.  A lot of make up
2.  Very little in the way of showcasing my amazing talent.

Funny thing happened.  I looked at my camera, scrutinizing every single picture, paying zero attention to my hat.  The more I looked at the no less than 100 pictures of my face the more I started to see an alarming resemblance to.............
..................................

MADAME!!!.


.GAHHHH!!!!

So I did what my instincts told me to do in the first place.  Put the fucking hat on Gary and snapped away.  He photographs way better and is a fraction of the narcissist I am.