Sugar Free

New Years Resolutions.  What a load of horse shit.  I try to never make them because it takes about 40 seconds for me to break them and then I wallow in self loathing for like, a week.

That said, if I ever actually want to play actual derby with actual derby folks I need to make some serious changes....like not having my diet composed of 80% sugar and coffee.  Also, I just bought a ton of super cute little dresses because I don't want to look like a soccer Mom and I think that kicking at least 10 pounds will make me feel a bit better.

So today was the day.  No more sugar.  No more caffeine (sniff) and just easy whole foods.

 Didn't start off so well.

For starters, I was up until the sun came up AND my kids were due home at 11am so before I even opened my eyes I was already guzzling back my second cup of coffee.  I decided to make a lovely breakfast of red quinoa and prunes.  It was, as one can imagine, terrible.  Once a year or so I feel that I am somehow special and precluded from the, er, regular nature of this fruit.  Today was no different.  Desperate for sweet, having eaten the most revolting breakfast ever I sat down and ate.the.entire.bag.  About an hour later I lost about 20 pounds and vowed never to eat them again.   Anyhoo...I later bailed on derby practise cause I was working on only two cups of coffee, 3 hours sleep and rocket bowels.   Just as everything was coming up C the phone rang and I was informed of my uncle's sudden passing this morning.  Normal people take bad news well.  Emotional eaters who look for any excuse to eat a 4 pound bag of chocolate covered almonds...well...eat a 4 pound bag of chocolate covered almonds.  Surprisingly I persevered and instead made this-

Don't get me wrong, I love everything about this soup.  Kale, sweet potatoes and chick peas.  What's not to like?  Under normal circumstances I would have been rather chipper.  Today it just pissed me off and I grumpily ate it, lamenting the fact that it tasted absolutely NOTHING like If I Had a Million Flavours ice cream.   Then I was all "bitch, you be crazy....you're alive..... unlike your uncle.  SNAP OUT OF IT and stay alive!"

Determined to make tomorrow run a little smoother and inspired by another blog post I saw I put this gem together-

Because I'm totally lame I get really excited about cute things.  I'm just stupidly pleased with how clever I am,  all organized and shit.  I just have to pop it in my blender and breakfast it served!   GENIUS!   With the exception of the ground flax as I am out of chia, this is my go to smoothie but because I layered it in a jar and took a picture I'm practically creaming my jeans over this flipping thing.   I will periodically peek into the fridge and give myself a self satisfying nod.   Now, 95% of the time almond milk makes me want to beat kittens for fun.  It's pretty much the worst thing in the entire world.  True story.  But, it's completely ok in this.  In fact, all of a sudden I want to go super hippy and MAKE my own almond milk.  What's the worst that can happen?


All in all I would say that today turned out ok.  Could have used less death and coffee, more sugar and sleep.  But it was a good start. Tomorrow my goal is only three cups of coffee, start level two of the 30 Day Shred and of course, keep on being amazing.

But seriously folks, I could really use some Nutella right about now.