The perils of overthinking in the derby world.

So last night was my first, full on regular league practice.


um

There were a few times where I actually thought the evening was going to end in me in the back of an ambulance.   For realz.


I PROMISE I am not being all "waaaaa....I suck....blah blah blah"   But the moment I have three highly skilled derby vets stampeding towards me with a blood thirsty glare you can bet your ass that I'm skating the fuck away as fast as my untrained feet will take me.  Unfortunately, for the purpose of that particular drill, my objective as the blocker was to block and most certainly NOT to run away.  But seriously folks, running away like a cowardly child was the only intelligent choice when put head to head with the only other option of a broken collar bone.  Of course, running away just isn't enough.  I also had to yelp and then belly flop on the floor.

I just want to stay in the corner and practice transitions.

Easy peasy. I'm gonna do it like I have been told repeatedly.

Step one, lead with foot.  Step Two, spread eagle with other and switch directions.  Step Three, gracefully land with starting foot.  Step Four, finish off with a beautiful tomahawk.  

Annnnd GO!  

Attempt #1

Step One-lead with foot.  Step Two, spread ea....gah....this feels weird.  Step Three-fall on your knees.  Step Four- be told you are over thinking the process.  Again.

OK.  I think I have this this time.

Attempt #2

Step One-lead with foot
Step Two-Spread eagle zomigodz I did it I DID IT!!!!  ACK!  What's next?!
Step Three-fall on tail bone.
Step Four-have another vet tell me I'm over thinking.


Time to take another approach.  Close my eyes and go for it.

Attempt #3

Step One Two Three Four.    Give er.

Step 5.  Fall badly.  Pretend it didn't hurt.

Attempt #4#5#6#7 etc etc

Fall fall fall

Attempt #40 and on....

Got it.  Finally.

Back to the pack.

Elbowed, punched in the kidneys.  Trampled.  What are the rules again?!   Transitioning on your own is one thing, transitioning while going full speed is a whole other ball of wax.  Down I went, 6 derby girls on top of me.

Over thinking every move.

And then it hit me.  I have nothing to live for!     When I reflect and when I really break things down I realize that not only have I based my life on  humiliating myself  I have no real skill set or qualities that make me an important part of this world.   I am totally disposable!  In fact, if I were to die in a freak, derby related accident that's actually the best case scenario!  I die happy AND my kids get an insurance pay out.......so what am I worried about?!?!


I just need to go for it!   This is one of those times where the worse case scenario is actually the best case scenario.    I think I have finally won this round.


Now if I can remember to keep my tits to the track I might hit my 25 in 5.