Resting Bitch Face

Last week my friend from out of town called first thing in the morning to let me know that he was coming into town and would I be interested in some morning scrabble and cookies for breakfast. It was a work day so I only thought about it for about a microsecond. YES PLEASE! After all, work is for suckers! (Without a hint of irony I thank the stars for my ex boyfriend who taught me that!).

Anyhoo...chillin out, scrabbling it up and eating some cookies all make for great times when out of nowhere he says, "You know, you're really quite fetching but you look like a COMPLETE bitch when you aren't smiling."

Sadly, this is not the first time I have heard this. The first time this was brought to my attention I was in my boyfriends room. Being a young divorcee with children it was totally reasonable that his bedroom was in his parents house, the original locomotive wallpaper completely intact. Ill take a moment to clarify that I have totally identified the root cause of my issues with "men". ANYWAY that's not relevant to this particular situation. What IS relevant is that he told me that his parents were intimidated by me. Not because we were practically same age, but because I often looked like, well, a bitch.

Anyway, Dazzling D was quick to reassure me. Apparently it's a thing. A thing where people just look like unapproachable, miserable cunt bags who will tear your face off if you dare approach. Resting Bitch Face, or RBF.

*click*. The first of many pictures taken at my expense for the expressed purpose of proving me wrong did nothing but annoy me. However, several obnoxious clicks later of me buying my shoes, me looking at makeup and deciding what cheese to by etc etc....he succeeded. I do, in fact, suffer from resting bitch face.

As always it was a terrific time, the shadow of my newest malady well tempered with fabulous cookies.

I'll wait until next week to let this become a festering insecurity. For now I will enjoy knowing that wherever I go, whatever I do, no one will ever think to bother me.

Success!