Good job!

Not only do I have to clean the hell out of my house but my office is also on the move.  I have been with the same company for almost 14 years and my file cabinets have followed me everywhere.  You can only imagine the shit I have been hoarding for 14 years.

This is what I threw out.  In retrospect I am really bummed I didn't take a picture.

7 packages of hot chocolate from 2001
 6 boxs of tea.
 Robaxaset from when I threw my back out PUTTING ON MY PANTS.
About 15 jars of various vitamins no doubt used for some bullshit naturopathic cleanse I HAD TO DO OR ELSE I WOULD DIE!!
A framed (FRAMED!!) picture of my ex boyfriend and I canoodling in Mexico
An unframed wedding picture of myself.(why did I frame a pic of a boyfriend and not my wedding day?)
School pictures, all school pictures to date.
ALL paper paystubs going back to 2000.
Birthday cards from when I turned TWENTY FIVE
Old cards from the previously mentioned old boyfriend and ex husband from when they sent me flowers.

And much much more.

Anyway, one little hour later and I managed to ruthlessly purge, with the exception of the notes and pictures.  Easy peasy.  Cleaning out my home closets and storage areas will no doubt uncover some pretty amazing shit that I have refused to part with but will not be anywhere near as  painless.   They are stuffed.  Stuffed with crap I don't know what to do with.  I put it there till later but later never comes and more shit just goes in.  Its is critical that I clean this out.  I can't imagine prospective buyers and real estate agents will be especially tickled when 20 years of garbage come tumbling down on them.

So, today was earmarked for my home purging adventures.  To further complicate things, the framers are coming Tuesday to frame up the laundry room/bathroom so that pit of horrors also has to be cleared out.

This weekend was perfectly planned to allow for the complete balance of child free awesome.  Me time, social time and responsibly mature adult stuffs.

sigh

Remember when you were a kid and you and your friends managed to convince an older sibling to pick up a micky of peach schnapps to share?  Then you proceeded to drink it all and you're forced to barf in the sink cause your other friend is busy hurling in the toilet?  Then you are called Pepperoni for a while cause your pizza infused vomit ricocheted onto the mirror and pepperoni became the new decor in the bathroom?   The worst.  Of course in the morning you firmly proclaimed from your death bed "I'M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN"

Fast forward a million years.  You have way better taste, shitty schnappes replaced with 15 year old single malt scotch.  Your old withered body no longer possesses the healing of the hangover you once possessed.  You're still a dumb ass for drinking to excess but your body ain't a tight 16 years old (I think it's ok to refer to a tight 16 year old body when referring to yourself)  You can't bounce back after a shitty colonic inspiring egg mcmuffin.   Your chores are mounting.  Your child free hours dwindling.  The clock is ticking.


Instead I have a date with a rotisserie chicken, my bed, Dr. Pepper and my new boyfriend, Michael Pena.