Bliss

Tonight was one of those rare treats where the kids have tomorrow off school. Off to grandmas for a sleepover they went, leaving me the house alone.

I love these nights. Just me, no plans. Sometimes it's lonely but on nights like these they are fucking amazing.

So, I move all of the furniture, plug in and dance in the dark like crazy. It's amazing and happy making.

Which brings us to the self sabotage part of the evening. In hindsight it's always the best part.

We see ourselves naked all the time from the front. I'm used to it. I'm at the point that I look at my naked body in the mirror and while I have a wealth of flaws (as determined by western culture), I can take it. I have seen worse, i have seen better. No biggie.

Obviously, since I was feeling pretty good, I decided that it was a good time to prop up my camera and take a full on naked shot of myself from behind. You know, the side you aren't that familiar with?

It was hideous. First of all I don't know why I insist on putting the camera on the floor looking up with the flash. Seriously, that angle would make Keira knightly look like a lardo.

This is not the first time I have done this and this time around it was equally soul crushing. It's that whole feeling of laughing, genuinely laughing at it while being equally horrified.

I know I'm finally maturing (a bit). Last time I pulled this shit I was on the horn with my BFF within 5 minutes, crying. This time I just said "fuck it", grabbed a pint of icecream and now I'm all curled up in bed with my new boyfriend, John Hamm for 4 episodes of Mad Men

Honest to Christ. This was, hands down, the BEST date I have been on in months.