Grief and moving on

During my divorce my mother in law explained how small losses in life are actually beneficial.  These are just stepping stones for the constant crushing blows that we face in our adult lives. With the exception of my divorce, my beloved Cecil and my step dog I have actually never really experienced any real significant losses.  In fact with the exception of my unfortunate derby injury this past little while I have been met only with wins and gains and I'm practically farting rainbows all over the place.

                                                              Until this morning

 Stage One-Shock and Denial

No.  Nononononono.  This is not happening.  I can't...I just...NO!  It's ok.  I can fix it!  Totally fixable!

Stage Two-Pain and Guilt

Why didn't I appreciate it more when I had it.  The glorious weight.  The way it held the perfect amount of coffee.   Oh the colours. Did I leave it carelessly in the sink, underneath all of the dishes??  Oh god....it hurts...my tetris mug.   All of my other mugs sucks.  It's not the same.  I hate itttttttt. Ack!!!!

Stage Three-Anger and Bargaining

Who the FUCK used my mug and left it in the sink!?!?!   Seriously.  WHO DID THIS.  LOOK AT THIS AND WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!  You have destroyed meeeeeee.   Meeeeeee....  You know what, think geek?  Go fuck yourself for no longer having this mug.  FUCK YOU.  You have destroyed my happiness.  Ok. It's going to be ok.  If I can find this mug elsewhere I will totally bail on buying skiis and I will bail on the European skiing adventure the winter will bring.  Besides, who am I kidding, I might hate skiing but I LOVE this mug.  Come back.  I'll love you better.  I promise.

Stage Four-Depression

 I can't do anything.  I can't figure out how to remove a wipe board.  I can't keep a mug intact.  I don't even know that a wipe board is actually called a white board.  I just keep buying shit to remove the wipe (white) board because I don't even know what this fucking wipe (white) board is made of because I can't even google properly.  I can't google, remove a wipe (white) board, keep a mug from breaking, t-stop, or knit a pattern on a hat.  Sniff...this mug was the last thing my ex ever gave me.  Now that this mug is broken I'll never be able to go to Europe.   I'm just going to sit here in bed, all unshowered, miserably drinking scotch from a sub par mug thinking about how much better it would taste if it were in my beloved tetris mug.  Someone who carelessly breaks a beloved mug doesn't deserve to use a snifter.  Poo....I don't even own snifters.

Stage Five-The Upward Turn

I guess this Halloween mug is ok.  Festive, really.  

Stage Six-Reconstruction and Working Through

I refuse to work through.  Pity and rage is better.  I want to crawl in a hole and diiiiiiiiiiie

Stage Seven-Acceptance and Hope

It's gone.  Look on the bright side, I could be in a refugee camp.  That might actually be worse.   And  I don't have cancer!  The only thing I don't have, besides herpes and a million dollars is a tetris mug.  That's pretty good.  I actually have it all any super amazing 36 year old wants.  In fact, if the ONLY criteria for true success and happiness is NOT having a tetris mug but having everything else I'm rocking in a free world!  I'm practically superman!    I'm not certain but I'm willing to bet the farm that lots of people live without tetris mugs.  Maybe they have a kitten mug, or a shark mug?  Maybe even a paisley mug.  Maybe it's ok to learn to love a new mug.

I love you, Muggy.  You were the best.  I will forever hold you in my heart and while it might hurt and it might be hard I will no doubt learn to love again.