I once sat in the ER for 8 hours because I was convinced I had a blood clot in my leg. It was a Charlie horse.
I once went to the ER shortly after surgery CONVINCED they left a pair of scissors in my body. It was just a bruised diaphragm.
On the other hand, when my water broke two months early with my daughter I thought I had just peed my pants. Three hours later and strapped to a stretcher in an ambulance en route to a neo natal unit I was finally convinced I was having a baby.
Clearly I am showing pretty terrible judgement when it comes to my health so it shouldn't have come as any surprise that my polio/tb/cancer is actually pneumonia.
This would actually be ok except I'm currently coughing up blood and I sound like a 12 year old boy. The good news is that I am not contagious. The bad new, depending on ones perspective is that I have a ton of derby stuff this weekend. Tomorrow is derby derby derby and an afterparty. Sunday is league practice. Don't even get me started on Halloween preparations.
Now, I would bet the farm that all of this is Karma. A person can only be so shitty. Universe, I'm so sorry I was terrible. I take it all back. I will be pure and good and I'll stop being a twat. I'll be good to Conservatives and I'll no longer judge Capitalists.
Just please make me well by tomorrow.
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